What Does Your Toilet Paper Say About You

Evan Swensen
January 27, 2025

The Three Kinds of People: A Lighthearted Reflection on Success, Faith, and Toilet Paper

Success gurus, religious leaders, and even ancient scriptures agree that humanity can be divided into three distinct categories. It’s a curious concept that spans motivational seminars, spiritual sermons, and sacred texts. While the language may differ, the underlying message remains consistent. Believe it or not, this philosophy applies just as well to the great human experience as it does to something as seemingly mundane as…toilet paper. Let’s explore.

Success Motivation: Wonderers, Watchers, and Makers

Motivational speakers might enthusiastically declare, “There are three kinds of people: those who wonder what’s happening, those who watch things happen, and those who make things happen.” It’s the mantra of personal growth, urging people to stop living on autopilot and start actively shaping their futures.

The wonderers are the drifters. They’re scratching their heads, overwhelmed or lost in the chaos of life. They ask questions but rarely take steps to answer them. The watchers are more observant, even entertained, by the ebb and flow of events but choose not to participate. And then, there are the makers—those rare individuals who seize the reins, create opportunities, and lead with purpose.

This motivational trifecta encourages people to reflect on their own actions—or lack thereof. Are you sitting on the sidelines, wondering what’s going on? Are you simply watching others succeed? Or are you rolling up your sleeves, taking charge, and building your legacy?

Faith’s Perspective: Confused, Convinced, and Converted

In religious teachings, the concept takes on a more spiritual tone: “There are three kinds of people: those who are confused, those who are convinced, and those who are converted.” It’s a powerful analogy that applies to one’s journey of faith and understanding.

The confused wander through life with questions about their purpose, beliefs, or connection to the divine. They may feel spiritually adrift, longing for clarity. The convinced have taken steps toward belief, often guided by logic, experience, or testimony. They understand the principles, but their faith may still lack the deep-rooted conviction to fully transform their lives. The converted, however, have reached a profound place of understanding and commitment. They are fully immersed, living their beliefs with authenticity and purpose.

This progression challenges people to consider where they stand in their spiritual journey. Are you still seeking answers? Do you know what you believe but hesitate to act on it? Or are you living a life fully aligned with your convictions?

Scriptural Parallels: Telestial, Terrestrial, and Celestial

Scriptures offer a broader lens for this concept: “There are three kinds of people: telestial, terrestrial, and celestial.” These categories represent levels of spiritual progression tied to eternal outcomes.

The telestial represents those who live primarily for worldly pleasures and self-interest. They’re content with the here and now, often ignoring higher aspirations. The terrestrial are good, honorable individuals who value morality and service but may not fully embrace the transformative power of divine grace. The celestial embody the highest ideals of spiritual growth. They seek to align with God’s will, embracing love, sacrifice, and eternal purpose.

The scriptural interpretation adds weight to the question: which path are you on? Are you content with fleeting pleasures, striving for moral decency, or committed to reaching your soul’s highest potential?

Toilet Paper as a Litmus Test

Let’s step away from the profound for a moment and look at how this same concept plays out in the simplest of scenarios: the toilet paper roll.

The Wonderer / Confused / Telestial Person: This person uses almost all of the toilet paper, leaving just enough to barely cover the cardboard roll. They see the dwindling paper but leave the issue for someone else to resolve—a reflection of uncertainty and inaction.
The Watcher / Convinced / Terrestrial Person: This person leaves just enough paper for the next user. It’s a courteous gesture, but it stops short of addressing the bigger need: replacing the roll. They’ve acknowledged the problem but haven’t fully engaged with it.
The Maker / Converted / Celestial Person: This individual notices the dwindling roll, removes it, installs a fresh one, and places the leftover roll on top for future use. They’ve solved the problem and taken the extra step to ensure convenience for the next person, embodying a mindset of thoughtful action.

Through this humorous lens, the Toilet Paper Test becomes an amusing but meaningful reflection of one’s approach to life.

What It All Means

At first glance, these categories—whether from motivational speeches, faith traditions, or toilet paper etiquette—may seem unrelated. But they share a common thread: they challenge us to reflect on who we are, how we act, and what we prioritize.

Are we passive observers, content to let life happen around us? Are we stepping forward, trying but not fully committing? Or are we taking bold, intentional steps to leave the world better than we found it?

In the end, whether we’re striving for success, growing in faith, or simply navigating the daily trials of life, it’s worth asking: which kind of person are you? And perhaps more importantly—what does your toilet paper say about you?

Just as your actions reflect who you are, so do the words you choose to read and write. What you absorb and share with the world speaks volumes about your character, your priorities, and the legacy you hope to leave behind.

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